


The True Face of Evil

by azure_iolite



Series: Fire and Ice [3]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angel Wings, Art, Cat, Contest, Dan gets even, Fanart, Gen, Kitty angel, Lucifer Needs a Hug, Lucifer is a cat, Lucifer is distressed, Voting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23547409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azure_iolite/pseuds/azure_iolite
Summary: Previously on Lucifer:“But I thought you don’t want to be the Devil.” She reminded.“I don’t! But...” The not-an-angel fumbled, not sure where to go from there.“I think he’s confused.” She decided through her giggles.  Ella smiled sympathetically, and Lucifer started to grumble.  Then Michael decided to chime in.“We could take a vote.” He offered earnestly. Everyone turned to look at him as he met their gaze, wide-eyed and innocent looking.In which Dan gets revenge.  And Lucifer is not happy.This series was conceived before season 5. The Michael character in this series in an OC, and not canon compliant.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Dan Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Fire and Ice [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628236
Comments: 29
Kudos: 153





	The True Face of Evil

_“THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!”_ Lucifer’s voice carried through the Bullpen, and everyone turned to see him ripping a paper into scraps. “Truly, not a one of these even remotely resembles me.” He growled as Chloe approached, putting her hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

“Lucifer?”

The consultant turned on her, seething, as he held up a scrap of paper. “Detective! We’ve a murder to solve!” He thrust the paper at her. “I demand to know what miscreant is responsible for this heinous crime.”

Chloe took the paper and unrumpled it. It was torn, but the part that was left made her shake her head. It read: _Lucifer is…_ Then on the next line, _Cat,_ and on another, _Penguin…_ The rest was gone. “Lucifer, this isn’t…”

“It _IS,_ Detective. It’s the murder of my well-crafted reputation! I’ve worked tirelessly molding the Lucifer Morningstar brand, and now, thanks to this unknown ne’er-do-well, it’s been destroyed!” He followed this up by taking a gulp from his flask and sinking dramatically into a chair, dropping his head into his hands.

Stifling a laugh, she sat at his side and placed her hand on his in sympathy. “It’s not that bad, Lucifer. I mean, you already tore it up… how much harm could it have…”

“Hey Decker!” Ella greeted as she skipped by, then pausing, she turned to Lucifer and her grin spread. “Hey, kitty!” Lucifer’s head whipped up to look accusingly at her. But Ella was already on her way to her lab, humming along to whatever song currently graced her ears through the headphones.

Feeling utterly betrayed, he moaned. “Et tu, Miss Lopez?”

Then they heard someone from the other side of the bullpen chuckle. “I vote cat. What with all that caterwauling!” Lucifer’s eyes flashed red for a moment before he turned back to Chloe, pleadingly.

“Having a bad day?” Dan asked, as he approached from behind. Turning, they saw him with a stack of papers. He took a single slip, and pinned it to the wall in the same spot the previous offending paper had been. Lucifer narrowed his eyes as he approached her ex.

Dan grinned as Lucifer snatched the paper and turned on him. “It was _you!”_

Leaning back on the nearest desk, Dan smirked triumphantly at the civilian consultant. “Well, I had some help. But yeah, it was me, _Sam.”_ He laid it on thick as he said Lucifer’s old name. Then the two proceeded to argue. Chloe slid back and picked one of the pages up to read it.

_We all agree that Lucifer is the LADP’s mascot, and while he insists he’s the Devil, we know better, don’t we? Make your selection from the options below._

_Lucifer is a:_

_Cat  
Penguin  
Chihuahua  
Ostrich  
Chipmunk_

Chloe started laughing. Cat. He was a cat. And she was pretty sure they already had this conversation… with Michael.

Looking up, she saw Lucifer had pulled himself away from Dan and was now yelling at the phone. “I swear, Amenadiel! This is the last straw, I…”

“It wasn’t him.” Both Chloe and Dan said as one. Lucifer turned to stare at them.

Chloe looked at Dan and shook her head. “This is because of the Chewbacca contest, isn’t it?” Dan chuckled. Clearly pleased with himself.

Then he nodded with false seriousness. “Michael suggested I fight fire with fire… or contest with contest.” He laughed.

“Penguin. He’s a penguin.” This one came from the new lieutenant.

“No, he’s a tuxedo cat!” another countered.

Lucifer hung up on Amenadiel, looking utterly defeated. “I think I preferred serpent… or dragon… or even…” He shuddered, _“…goat.”_ Then, as an idea came to him, the Devil grinned wickedly and he sauntered off.

Chloe and Dan looked at each other in confusion before turning back to see the consultant, who was now standing by Dan’s desk, hand outstretched toward his Mug. “Seems the popular vote is cat.” He announced, then he knocked the cup off the desk, spilling coffee everywhere. “Welcome to Hell, Daniel.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone for voting. The results are in:  
> cat: 23  
> penguin: 5  
> Chihuahua: 1  
> Ostrich: 2  
> Chipmunk: 7
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fic and the quick art. Lucifer makes a cute tuxedo kitty, doesn't he. >:)
> 
> Special thanks again to Imperium for helping with this.
> 
> art can also be found here (easier to view on your phone): https://www.deviantart.com/manic-goose/art/The-True-Face-of-Evil-837050167


End file.
